


take me with you

by ohno (lovinglouist)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Grisha Yeager's Bad Parenting, Homophobia, I hope, Jean Kirstein & Eren Yeager Friendship, M/M, Minor Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein, Texting, They're best friends okay, for this series, i lov them as friends, it should be a collection, kind of, of one shots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:20:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23496661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovinglouist/pseuds/ohno
Summary: ''Can you stop laughing and help me out, I'm suffering here!!'' Eren said exhausted.''Dude, let me get this straight. You contacted this person thinking it was Armin's number, right?'' Jean asked.Eren nobbed. ''What's so funny about that?'' As soon as these words escaped his mouth, Jean bursted out laughing again.''That's not the issue, you wrote to this person to say Armin is their phone neighbour or some shit like that?! What did you expect?!''oranother texting au where Eren is socially awkward and Levi even more antisocial than ever.
Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager
Comments: 3
Kudos: 131





	take me with you

It was a quiet evening and no sound could be heard from Levi’s apartment apart from the usual keyboarding. 

Much to his disappointment the quiet was soon interrupted by the sound of his phone, ‘new message, uh. weird.’ Levi thought as he drifted his eyes from the computer screen, to the phone next to it. 

He pretty much had no one to talk to, the only two friends he had didn’t do the ‘texting’ and got used to Levi’s lack of answers to most of their texts. In his defence, he would answer when necessary.  
  


**Unknown  
** _Hey it’s me, I finally got a new phone so please save this number and delete the other one!_

Confusion spread over his face, was it Hange or Erwin who changed their phones? But wait, no, it couldn’t be, he didn’t remember any of them talking about getting a new one. He was pretty aware of not reading all of his friend's messages. Levi would get tired pretty easily of social interactions and Hange was especially hard to be with more than 2 hours.

Instead of answering the message, Levi took a screenshot of it and sent it to the group chat where Erwin and Hange - his closest friends - were. He found the chat and stopped after reading the name “the gays”, Levi could have sworn he changed it back to the simple name “group chat” the day before, but Hange must have done something about it, again. 

  
  


**the gays**

**Levi:** _*screenshot*  
__Do you know this number?_

**Hange:** _oh? who’s that? answer!!!!_

**Erwin:** _No, I don’t._

**Hange:** _answer them levi, i wanna know who they are!!! you might get a new friend who knows lol_

 **Erwin:** _Don’t be rude Hange, you know he’s not very sociable._

 **Hange:** _ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ‘m just sayn it would cool for him to socialize yknow what i mean it might be the right time he falls in love with someone you never know you know?_

Levi looked at his screen, regretting sending the screenshot after reading the interaction between his friends. He realised this minor issue made him waste his precious time, that could have been spent finishing his work instead. With that, he turned his phone to silent and kept on working, from the corner of his eyes he could see the screen lighting up. He was positive the notifications were from Hange still writing on the group chat hoping for an answer from Levi or discussing about his nonexistent love life.

Usually, he wouldn’t really care about what Hange thought of if, Levi wasn’t someone who cared much about having a special one to spend his life with, we are all we have in this world, and we better learn to deal with things alone, right? That was what Levi believed in, or maybe forced himself to. He didn’t know anymore.  
  


Levi decided that getting sensitive about the topic was well caused by him ageing, not that his was old mind you, but being 30 was getting to him indeed. Levi never cared much about anything like that, he was always sure he would have died young, he wasn't prepared for what was coming next after being 20.  
  


His friend Erwin was the one who helped him out in getting back on track, he didn't know if he wanted to curse or thank his friend for not giving up on him and, for giving him another chance at life.  
  


As years went by Levi never lived with the thought he would have reached out another year, it took him a long time to finally 'give up' and admit defeat. He wasn't going to leave this world anytime soon. When realization hit him, Levi was surrounded by a feeling that was foreign to him, loneliness. He felt alone. Levi saw his two friends being in a very serious relationships and how in love they both seemed to be, he would never admit it out loud, but he wanted that, he thought it was selfish of him, to wish to someone to share his pain with, considering he didn't know if he would be ever okay with opening up to someone, ever.

Levi was a contradiction. He wanted, he needed to feel loved, but he didn't want to try and be happy.  
  


His self hate would stop him from doing anything that would make him think _'I'm feeling content with things right now'._ _  
  
_

Speaking of hating things, Levi was hating on Hange for writing that simple message that lead him to overthink about anything and everything. He also hated this random person to even get the wrong number and started this whole thing, Levi hated. That's all he had in him, hate.

A sigh escaped his lips as he decided working was out of the question now. He shut his computer off while cursing on everyone and no one, going towards the kitchen to make some tea, the only thing that allowed him to feel warm inside. 

.

  
  


On the other side of city there was a little coffee shop, owned by a family of Germans who moved to Trost 10 years ago. These coffee shops were one of those Eren loved the most. He would have never thought of ending up working in one of them, ever.  
  


Working for his mother's shop was something he never really looked forward to, after some years he realised that it was the best place to be. It wasn't a pretentious place, it was nothing like Starbucks that he hated so much. No rush, no mess and especially there weren't people shouting everywhere. Eren liked it, all of friends would visit him and work on their essays there to keep him company, it was a place where they would hang out, and made Eren feel at ease no matter what.  
  


Sometimes he would miss going to university, parties with his friends, joking around about their teachers and such, having no worries other than submitting everything on time. That was another reason why his friends would always come to his coffee shop, they wanted to make him feel included, and he would be forever grateful for that.  
  


His mother, Carla, fell ill just after Eren's first year in uni, his father has been gone for so long and he did what he felt was right, leaving everything behind to help his sick mother. 

Mikasa, his sister, suggested helping him out with the shop, but that's not what Eren wanted for her, she gave up so much already for Eren's sake and that wasn't fair. She would still bring the subject up from time to time, Eren would always answer with a  
  


_'I'll get back to uni when mum gets better, it doesn't matter when I graduate, as long as I do, right?''_  
  


Funnily enough, this is the same phrase Eren just said to a not so joyful Mikasa. 

His sister and their friends where sitting on the other side of the table where Eren was cleaning some tea cups. It was a slow day and Eren was grateful for that, he could talk with his friends without worrying much, although, he really disliked having this talk with her.  
  


''I know that Eren, I just wish you would think more about yourself. Stop being so selfless.''  
  


Eren scoffed at that ''Wow, I never thought being selfless was going to be an issue here. I'm not gonna talk about this anymore. I'm only 22, I have all the time to go back to study, okay?''  
  
He said with a distressed tone that left no space for more arguing.  
  


He heard Mikasa sigh as he turned his head to Jean, he was one of his best friends. They hated each other at first, but then Marco came into the picture and changed him for the better. Eren will never understand how someone as nice as Marco managed to tame him, but he was grateful as he really, really, liked this version of Jean.  
  
Every three months Jean would come to the shop only to isolate himself, head down on his books as he tried to get everything memories in so little time. 

Eren has learnt that Jean didn't do well with stress, from pulling all nighters, being irritable and asking for way too many coffee that would actually put someone in hospital if Eren weren't the one to make the coffee for him. 

_(Eren would add a lot of water and little coffee to his drinks. Jean would never notice, too focused on not having a break down to actually mind.)_

''Eren, another coffee, _please_.'' That was all Jean said, not even taking his eyes off the books. He could feel the stress out of his voice as he said that 'please'. If Eren missed uni life, he would only have to look at Jean to remind himself that maybe it wasn't missing out much, sometimes it worked.  
  


''Alright, coming.'' Eren glazed over Jean's direction to make sure he wasn't looking as he made the coffee on his way, once he was done with making the drink, he gave it to Jean. He heard a _'thanks'_ whispered by Jean as he started slipping through his not so coffee. That made Eren smirk. 

Turning around Eren noticed Mikasa was talking to someone that wasn't there before, he went over to her side to see properly, as the person was hidden behind Mikasa's figure. 

  
  


''I had a talk with my professor today, he said he's looking forward to work on the thesis with me! Can you believe? I can finally start working on it!!!'' The excited voice was from his childhood best friend, Armin. The guy was a genius and apparently no professor wanted to work with him, too scared of Armin's idea and how stressful it could have been. The one who decided to work with him must be really brave.  
  


''Congratulations Armin! Who's the poor dude?'' Eren said while approaching him a smirk on his face.  
  


Armin cheeks redden at his friend's comment ''Not you too Eren!! He's Mr. Smith, don't think you've ever seen him before.''  
  


''Nah, I don't think I did. If he's taking his time to work on your thesis I'm sure he's not the type of professor I would have had.''  
  


Mikasa looked at Eren with a sad look in her eyes she would always have when they talked about university, ready to open her mouth and say something.  
  


Armin noticed Eren's look on his face, if a look could talk it would say _''not again''_. 

He guessed the two already had a conversation about it and interfered, before Mikasa could say anything and start a fight.  
  


''Did you get the new phone, Eren? I remember you were going to buy it the other day.'' 

Eren visibly relaxed at the change of topic, Mikasa eyed him knowing why he did so.  
  


_If looks could kill._ _  
  
_

''Of course I did Armin! I sent you a text yesterday, I thought you saw it?'' Eren said perplexed as he took the phone out of his pocket.  
  


''What? No I didn't, look.'' Armin unlocked his phone and gave it to Eren, there was no message from him.  
  


''What...?'' Eren's face went from confused to shocked, realising he must have dialed the wrong number. Oops.  
  


''Eren, coffee, please.'' That was Jean, again. 

''Dude, you're gonna die if you keep drinking all of this coffee in one go.'' Eren said sighing. 

There should be an extra pay for the ''Jean exam month'', that was a thing, right?

''Coffee makes Jean work, no coffee, no work.'' Jean said with a monotone, never getting his eyes off the books.

''Ugh, okay, okay. Here Armin, look at the number I sent the message to, how far off was I from yours?'' Eren said giving the phone to Armin. He looked away and went to make Jean's coffee.

Eren left the coffee to Jean's side, surprised to see he was actually looking at him in the eyes, he wasn't looking at the book anymore. ''Umh...'' 

''Do I look that bad?''

''Well, I mean... your dark circles aren't very attractive, but when are you even?'' Eren said smirking. Jean wasn't really bad looking, but he will never admit it.

''You wish you were dating me Jeager. You're not the one I need to look good for anyways.'' 

''I knew Marco couldn't be that perfect, he had to lack of something. Dating you clearly states his taste in guys are horrendous.''

''You know wha-'' Jean was interrupted by his phone going off. He picked up and Eren could tell what it was.  
  


Marco.  
  


The face he made was the Marco just texted me face. A face of someone disgustingly in love, he wanted that. 

Eren has never loved in his life before, he dated some girls back in high school but none of them really worked. He wondered if he will ever find the right person. 

Sighing to himself, Eren realised a customer was waiting for him, after making their orders and giving it to them he got back to Armin. 

''So, I checked and you got the last digit wrong, I already added mine to your phone so you won't get confused anymore.'' Armin said giving Eren’s phone back to him.

''Thanks Armin, damn this never happened before. Do you think I should apologize to this person?'' Eren asked, looking at his phone. I didn't know why, but he felt the need to write something to them.  
  


''I mean, if you want? Why not.''  
  


''I don't think that's a good idea, Eren.'' Mikasa meddled in. Of course she would say that.

''Why is that, Mikasa?'' a sigh escaping his lips, he already knew the answer.  
  


_Because it's too dangerous she will say._ _  
  
_

''You don't know who the person is! It could be dangerous, why do you always want to put yourself into troubles?''  
  


_I knew it._ _  
  
_

''Mikasa, that's too much. It's just a message, Eren wouldn't be this stupid to say where he lives or anything like that to a random number. He only wants to apologise, right?''  
  


Eren was thankful for Armin, he was the one he would always go to for anything, Armin was smart and rational. Helped a lot when Mikasa would go off like that.

''Sure! I'm not stupid Mikasa, let me be.''

''You know, there was a sort of challenge over twitter some times ago. It was about changing your last phone number to one digit and find your ''phone neighbours''. This person was mine, how odd is that?''

Eren didn't know about this game, he thought. But of course Armin knew about it, he knew everything. 

‘’So everyone on the internet is stupid. And reckless'' Said Mikasa.  
  
Eren was focused on his thoughts and couldn't really care to focus on the conversation going on in the background between Armin and Mikasa, he was sure they would be arguing about this phone number. 

''Eren-'' That was Jean's voice.

''Yeah, coffee.'' Jean said nothing to correct him, so he guessed right. He did once again the same actions he repeated so many times that day, make the coffee, add lots of water and serve it to Jean. 

His mind was wandering off, thinking of what to say to the person he messaged by accident. He didn't know why he minded so much. 

. 

Levi has insomnia.

That night was one of the rare moments he falls asleep for some hours. 

That same night, he forgot to turn off his phone's notifications.

That same night, the sound of his phone went off.

That night, Levi ruined his only chance to sleep.

No, Levi didn't ruin it, it was the person who wrote to him who fucking ruined his night. 

'Fuck sake' Levi thought. 'Someone will better fucking dying for this.' 

**Unknown  
** _Hello, my name is Eren. I don't know if you remember but I sent you a message the other day thinking it was my friend's number. I just wanted to apologise for that! But hey, you're my friend's phone neighbor. How cool is that?!_

Levi read the message and different thoughts went through his head.

First, why the fuck did this kid think it was necessary to write back.

Second, what the fuck was a phone neighbor?

Third, it was 3 am in the morning. Why did he think it was a good idea to message some strangers with that?! 

He turned off his phone and threw it on the edge of his bed, Levi hoped it broke as he heard it crash to the wall. Levi wasn't hoping to fall back to sleep, that would have been impossible. 

He stayed awake, looking at the ceiling, thinking of everything wrong he has done in his life to deserve that. 

That kid was a fucking moron. 

.

  
  


Jean was laughing very loudly, drawing attention from other customers in the shop. Eren hoped he would choke on his drink. 

'Why do I never learn? I must never tell Jean anything ever.' 

It was 12 am, the coffee shop was starting to get busy, people would look at Jean while entering the shop to order their drinks. Jean has had his exam the same morning, the usual exam ritual went like this : 

**\- denial**

**\- panic**

**\- studying (at Eren's coffee place drinking everything with coffee Eren had in store)**

**\- giving the exam (and celebrating with Marco)**

Usually the last bit would be Jean and Marco going out after his exams are done, unfortunately for Eren, Marco was out of town and he had to replace him. 

He doesn't really mind Jean being there, especially that day he wanted someone to talk to about the number thing. He didn't realise Jean would be so amused by it. 

  
  


''Can you stop laughing and help me out, I'm suffering here!!'' Eren said exhausted.

''Dude, let me get this straight. You contacted this person thinking it was Armin's number, right?'' Jean asked.

Eren nobbed. ''What's so funny about that?'' As soon as these words escaped his mouth, Jean bursted out laughing _again_.

''That's not the issue, you wrote to this person to say Armin is their phone neighbour or some shit like that?! What did you expect?!'' 

''I don't see anything wrong with it, I just wanted to apologise! They seenzoned me, I felt hurt.'' Eren said, raising his voice, he really wasn't seeing his point, what was wrong with being social?

''Eren... you wrote at 3am in the morning! You probably woke them up, do you even realise that? Also that’s a bit creepy, not gonna lie.'' 

_Oh shit._

''You didn't?!'' Jean choked a laugh as he stared at a shocked Eren, his expression only gave out the fact that no, Eren hadn't thought of the time when he wrote the message. 

He closed the shop at 10 pm, went home to check on his mother, take a shower and eat. By the time he was done it was close to 2 am. Eren apparently spent one hour checking this infamous ''twitter trend'' Armin talked about, he wanted to be sure to have something to say to this unknown person. He really had no idea it was that late, shit. He can't do anything right.

''I had so much to do, I didn't notice what time it was, you douchebag.'' Eren cheeks were reddering, flustrated thinking of his stupidity, to think Jean from all the people, was the one making fun of him. 

''Look, I have no idea why you're so keen to talk to this person, it could be your grandma for all you know. At least have the decency to text at a normal hour.'' Jean said exasperatedly as he sipped through his tea. 

Exactly, tea. When he wasn't pressured by exams Jean would drink too much tea to 'purify himself' from all the coffee. Eren thought it was stupid, but that was Jean for you. 

''You're right! I'll message them right now.'' 

Eren picked up his phone with so much confidence in what he was about to do. He could see Jean with the corner of his eyes, he had his hands on his face, Eren swore he heard him saying _'You're so dumb_.' Eren decided to pretend he didn't hear that, too focused on typing his message. 

'Focus Eren, don't fuck it up. Third time's a charm, they say.' 

  
  


**Me**  
_Hello, It's Eren again! I wanted to apologise again for my message the other night. I didn't realise it was this late and I've been made aware of that I probably disturbed you that late. I'm so sorry, I hope you can forgive me._

'Now we wait, again.' 

With a sigh Eren set his phone on the table near Jean. 

''I think I might be socially awkward.'' Eren said looking nowhere in particular, he was too doze off at the thought of looking ridiculous to this poor person. 

''No dude, you're just dumb.'' Said Jean with a smirk on his face. ''Look, I need to go now. My mom asked me to be at home for lunch.'' With that Jean left the money he owned Eren for the tea and left the shop. 

Before Eren could say anything to Jean, new customers entered the shop. He quickly picked up his phone from where Jean was sitting. 

'I better not get distracted by that.' He thought while turning it off and putting it in his pocket. 

After some hours that felt like eternity to Eren, he managed to get his well deserved break. 

The first thing he did was turning his phone on, much to his surprised, the first message he noticed was from that number. Eren quickly opened the chat to read their response and

'Wow, okay.' 

**Unknown  
** _Is an answer from me all it's gonna take for you to stop messaging? Here, I answered. Bye._

Eren didn't know what he was even expecting from this person, he didn't know why this answer made him sad. He was really looking forward to it, he didn't know why.

That's all he knew, that he didn't know.

Without thinking too much Eren found himself typing a new message.

**Me  
** _Hi, thank you for answering. I'm sorry if it bothered you, I just wanted to apologize and say hello! I'm Eren._

He sighed after sending the message and went to check his others notifications. Most of them were from Mikasa. 'I will read them later' he thought while closing the app.

Eren didn't like to ignore messages much, Mikasa was an exception thought.

Not that Eren didn't love her or wanted to talk to her, its just that he knew most of her messages would have been reminder.

'Did you eat?'

'Remember to drink water.'

'Don't force yourself too much.'

And the new entry 'Don't message that unknown number.'

Clearly Eren hadn't listened to her advice, and he really didn't care.

The sound of a new notification brought Eren back to reality, he was pleasantly surprised to know it was a new message from the unknown number.

**Unknown  
** _You said that twice already, Eren._

'Uh?' Eren thought. 'Twice what?'

It took him some time to read his previous message to realize that he has already said his name twice. Oh.

Eren found himself typing his answer quickly, he noticed this was the first time this person was answering, and they weren't even taking too much time with them, he couldn't let this opportunity go to waste.

**Me  
** _You're right, I still haven't got your name though! I'll keep introducing myself until you do so. I'm Eren :)_

.

  
  


'Is he stupid? He must be.' Levi found himself thinking. More than once actually, since he has started answering this Eren kid. There's no way in hell anyone with a functioning brain would just start chatting with some strangers.

It was Levi's day off, he still didn't know why he answered the guy in the first place. He must have been really bored.

'I should spend a little more time with my friends instead, if this is what I end up doing out of boredom.' He thought with a sigh.

Levi decided he was going to kill time by answering a bit more, hopefully he wouldn't regret that.

**Me  
** _I'm not going to give my information to some strangers. And neither should you._

**Unknown  
** _I'm sure you're not a bad person nor you have strange intentions, so._

_I'm Eren. Nice to meet you._

Levi scoffed at Eren's answer. How could he even think that? That was too naive. So this guy was a moron and too nice to be true, what a combo.

**Me  
** _How could you even say that? We know nothing about each other._

_And stop saying your name, I got it._

**Unknown  
** _Because you didn't answer me the first two times I contacted you! If you have had bad intentions you would have answered already. We can learn about each other! I'm Eren and I'm 22 years old, you?_

**Me  
** _Good point, I'll give you that._

**Unknown  
** _I know, I'll gladly take it._

_You still haven't answered me though._

Before Eren could finish writing his usual 'I'm Eren.' that Levi was already starting to get annoyed with, he typed a quick message, to put an end to this torture.

**Me  
** _Levi._

**Unknown  
** _Is it your name? Nice to meet you, Levi!_

_Would you mind sharing your age with me? I'm 22!_

**Me  
** _Are you going to keep telling me your age until I answer you?_

**Unknown  
** _It worked for your name, so._

_I'm 22. :)_

'This fucking kid.' Levi was wasting all of his energy on some dumb kid, he couldn't believe that. 'But that's on you.' He told himself, 'Next time just ignore anything and anyone like you always do.'

**Me  
** _30._

**Unknown  
** _That's cool! You're not much older than me. My friend Jean joked saying you could have been my grandma. Glad to know that's not the case!_

**Me** **  
**_Funny_.

Levi looked at his phone, waiting to see if this Eren guy would answer something else back to him.

After some minutes Levi realized he wouldn't get an answer, he put his phone on the table and left his bedroom, directed towards the kitchen to make some tea. He only had 3 cups of teas that day, his usual would be at least 7. He needed to make amend.

Levi wondered what it was that was bothering him that much. Interacting with Eren wasn't so bad, and he actually felt a bit disappointed to know the guy didn't give an answer.

Levi forced himself to believe it was simply because he couldn't stand someone to be so obsessed to know his name and age to then just disappear.

'Yeah, that was it.' Content with the excuse he made for his illogical reaction, Levi went to drink his tea while watching some TV. His phone forgotten in his bedroom.

Several hours and three teas after, Levi decided to get up his sofa, where he was watching the TV.

He reached out to his pocked to check the phone, only to realize he left it in his bedroom. 'Right.' he thought 'That's why I wasn't bothered by Hange's weird messages in the group chat.'

He went to his room, picked up his phone only for his messages to be spammed with lots of random ones from Hange and Erwin. Apparently Hange had a day off too, which meant they would spend the day working on some strange experiment, giving updates all the time.

Levi wouldn't say he didn't appreciate it, he liked to know what his friends were doing, he just really had no idea what to add to those. Fortunately, his friends have known him long enough to excuse him for that, knowing he would still read and pay attention if not too tired from all the informations given at once.

**the gays**

**Hange** : _Enough about my experiments! lets bet on levi's tea. I say he had 3 today. Wbu?_

 **Erwin** : _Today is his day off. He must have had more than that. 5, maybe?_

 **Hange** : _LMAO. do you think he could ever get sick from drinking that much tea? @levi let us know if you're still alive and how many you had. i have a bet to win_

 **Erwin** : _We will see._

 **Hange** : _i almost forgot, how did it go with that kid you're helping with the thesis?_

 **Erwin** : _Thanks for asking. It's going quite well. He's very talented, its the first time I see someone this focused on work. He told me no one wanted to work with him though. What a shame._

 **Hange** : _ahah i wonder why...._

 **Erwin** : _Are you being sarcastic now?_

 **Hange** : _who me? i would never._

Levi scoffed at their conversations, he had to admit Hange had a point. Erwin was very passionate about his work, and he would usually take those students who would make Levi had a headache.

Levi went to the kitchen, to check how much tea he had actually had that day, he wouldn't dare to give false informations, especially when bets were involved. He already knew Hange was wrong though. Much to his happiness. He would never let them win.

  1. He had 8 that day.



Levi was going to type that, when he changed mind and took a pic of all the tea bags.

**the gays**

**Levi** : _*picture* No one wins this time. Sorry Erwin._

 **Hange** : _what about me?? wtf levi,that's a lot! i need to start changing numbers next time. i thought 3 was a lot already_

 **Erwin** : _I'll have better luck next time. Happy to know you enjoyed your day off._

Curiosity took the best out of him, Levi decided to check the unkn - Eren's chat, curious to see if there might have been any new answers. Much to his surprise, there was.

**Unknown  
** _I won't tell Jean you said it was funny, that would get to his head!_

_Sorry for answering late by the way. My break was over._

Levi was very surprise to notice he would keep talking to him. He wasn't used to that.

He has always had a different mindset when it came to texting. For him, talking through text isn't necessary, talking at all, isn't necessary.

He would only answer if the other person needed his opinion, if he was asked an important question or anything that wasn't just random chats. He was very antisocial, anything that would make him talk much about nothing would exhaust him. Because it meant having to think about adding something new to the conversation, something that wasn't necessary to say, if they had to think about it in the first place.

When it came to face to face conversations, Levi was much better at handling it, of course, only if it meant having to deal with his friends. He would still get exhausted pretty easily, more with Hange than with Erwin. Hange didn't know when to stop talking. On the other hand Erwin had known Levi for much longer, and he knew, he just knew when Levi needed a break.

He was very fortunate to have people like them in his life, Levi was aware anyone else would have ditched him already. He doesn't blame them, but he's at least trying. Trying to be more social, trying to be more friendly, it simply takes lot of time.

When you're too used to feel nothing, having nothing, trying to build something that would make you feel happy was scary. 

It took him a long time to accept both Hange and Erwin in his life.

He has known Erwin for 15 years now, Hange for 9. 

Levi remembers trying to get rid of both of them, they were kind enough to never give up on him. He still wonder why. 

After years and years of getting used of being attached to someone again, Levi stopped trying to pull them away. 

Levi was afraid, he lost his mom when he was a kid, he lost his two best friends when he was a teenager. Too many times he was attached to people and lost them. He couldn't bear to suffer again.

Levi was scared of losing. 

'What if I get to try what real happiness is and then lose it?' 

'It would be worse than never knowing how it felt.'

Levi was self-destructive.

He well realized that this Eren was causing him to think about stuff he always tried to avoid, again.

It happened the first time he got a message from him, when Hange made that comment about making new friends and find a lover.

It was weird, he found this guy's insistence interesting. He would usually tell people to fuck off, or simply ignore them, like he did with him at first.

Levi thought if this guy was simply dumb and bored, he didn't know what he liked better.

The thought of Eren trying to get to know him, or Eren being bored and using Levi as a free time.

Is it better to have someone new interested in you or just some random people using you when bored? What would hurt less? Someone that wants to get closer to you, more chances to suffer again?

Or just a random chat, meaning they find nothing interesting in you as a person.

'How could he? You don't know each other at all.'

Levi decided he might dislike this guy for making him think too much.

He shut his phone off deciding he would just ignore the message. It's better off this way, he thought.

But apparently, Eren didn't think so.

After two hours, he got a new message from him.

**Unknown  
** _So Levi, do you like tea?_

Why would Eren try to chit chat with him? Why. Just why.

**Me  
** _You got your informations, why are you still messaging me?_

**Unknown  
** _To be honest, I don't know. I think... it would be cool to get to know each other, you know?_

_If you don't want, I'm sorry._

**Me  
** _But why?_

**Unknown  
** _I just have a feeling I shouldn't stop talking to you. Don't you feel the same?_

Yes. Levi thought.

**Me  
**_No_.

**Unknown  
** _Sorry, I'll stop bothering you then Levi._

Levi read the message and felt disappointed in himself.

.

  
  


During his break Eren had thought about what to answer to Levi's 'Funny.' answer.

He wanted to know him better, he didn't know why, it just felt right and didn't question much.

Through the day Jean didn't come back to the shop, Mikasa stopped by and Eren avoided any topics that would start any sort of fights between the two of them. When she left, Armin arrived.

Eren decided Armin was the best person to talk to about Levi, he told him about his progress and what he wanted to answer next when his shift would be over. Today he wasn't closing the shop.

Armin didn't judge Eren, he thought it would be okay, as long as he didn't share too many personal information before getting to know him better. Eren agreed on that.

When Eren left work, he took a walk with Armin, they talked about Armin's thesis and how Mr. Smith was excited to work for him. That only increased Eren's opinion that Mr. Smith must be crazy just like Armin. He was glad he never ha to do with that professor back in university.

They soon switched the subject to Levi. Eren realized he hasn't answered since his break. Armin suggested he should stop bothering him if Levi doesn't want to talk to a stranger.

He typed his message

_''I won't tell Jean you said it was funny, that would get to his head!_

_Sorry for answering late by the way. My break was over.''_

  
  


And shifted his attention back to Armin. He said something about not talking to strangers, wasn't it? Anyway, Eren answered with the only thing that he knew would make Armin pleased.

''Yeah, you're right.'' 

He wouldn't actually follow Armin's advice. He felt that talking to Levi was the right thing to do, he felt the need to know him better, didn't know why, but he was never someone who questioned much. He was more of an 'actions speaks louder than words' person.

They soon arrived by Eren's house and said their goodbyes. 

Before entering his house, Eren checked his phone one last time. There was no answer from Levi. Alright. 

He put his phone away and started his routine. As always.

Eren checked on his mother, she was getting better but was still too weak for her to go back to work. Eren just wished she would get better. And to his father to go back home. But that would be a miracle, so he didn't wish much for that.

By the time Eren was done with everything (saying hello to his mother, cleaning, cooking, taking a shower) he went to his room. Much to his surprise Mikasa hasn't gotten home yet, he decided to message her.

**Me  
** _Mikasa are you coming home tonight?_

**Mikasa  
** _No, I told mom I was gonna stay at a friend's. If you read my messages today you would have known too._

Ouch.

**Me  
** _Sorry, It was busy today._

**Mikasa  
** _It's okay._

_Goodnight._

**Me  
** _Nght._

'Well, that went well.' 

Eren decided to check other messages, just in case he pulled a 'Mikasa' again with someone else. Thankfully there was nothing important for him to answer to. His eyes found Levi's conversation, Eren was still thinking about it. He didn't like that the conversation stopped, he wanted to know him more. Armin told him to give up, but Eren wasn't one who listened much.

Eren tried again, first thing he thought was asking about tea. 'I work too much.' he whispered in his empty room.

Levi answered, but it wasn't the one he was expecting, Levi was questioning why he would keep contacting him. That's a good question, he thought. After a few more messages, Levi made it clear he didn't want to chat with him, that made him sad. But he couldn't do anything about that. He excuses himself with one last message and left it at that.

The thought made him sad.

The next morning Eren woke up a bit moody, probably due to his conversation with Levi the day before, he didn't check his phone. He went straight to do his usual things in the house.

Waking up his mother, taking a shower, making breakfast.

Mikasa wasn't home, she would probably visit him at the shop after university.

He still had some hours to spare before work, he woke up at 6 in the morning, too used to when he attended university to sleep past that hour. It was 8am, someday he would open the shop at 8am, others at 9. Today was one of those where he would open it late. Eren wasn't in the mood. He hated when it affected him that much.

Scrolling through his phone he got a few messages from Jean and Armin. He could read Armin's saying he wouldn't meet in that day, apparently having a session with Mr. Smith.

He opened Jean's chat.

**Jean  
** _asshole_

_marco came back last night_

_i don't know if we're gonna crash at your shop today cause_

_you know_

_:D_

**Me  
** _Thanks for telling me. I didn't want to know what you're going to do though._

_Say Hello to Marco from me. Have fun, use protection or whatever._

''It's time to work.'' Eren said out loud with a sigh. The sound of his phone made him aware of a new message coming. He thought it was from Jean, although he was surprise to think he would waste his time answering, having Marco with him that day.

In fact, it wasn't from Jean. It was from Levi.

Yes, Levi.

Eren froze. 'What?'

He didn't think Levi would have ever talked to him again, and here he was.

**Levi  
** _I love tea._

  
  
  
  


Eren's eyebrows furrowed in surprise. He had no idea what Levi's message was about. He would have never thought of getting a new message from him. Let alone something as random as that. He was... confused. Eren had to slap himself in the face to be sure he wasn't dreaming, it hurt. It wasn't a dream, and he was dumb for doing that.

Before texting back, Eren checked their previous conversation. Just in case, he thought. It didn't take long for him to find the text Levi's was answering to. Eren has previously asked him if he liked tea. That was the question that made Levi snap, apparently. The question that made Eren apologize for even trying to talk to him. 

He was surprised, happy, but surprised. 

It didn't take him long to understand Levi might have been the type of person that wouldn't really like to socialize much. He couldn't even blame him. They didn't even know how they looked like, they knew nothing about each other's apart from their names. Eren knew he could come off a bit strong at times, he was grateful Levi changed idea and wanted to give it a try. He was sure that costed Levi lots of effort to put his guard down and get back to him.

The thought made him smile. 

Eren decided he wouldn't question Levi's action to him. Scared that would make him regret talking to him, having him drift away from Eren again. 

He looked at his phone, ready to answer but froze when he looked at the time. 

'Oh fuck.' Eren whispered. It was getting late. 

The shop wasn't far from home, but still, he couldn't really allow himself to open the shop past 9. 

He quickly got changed from his pajama. Said goodbye to his mother and walked fast paced to the shop.

Eren usually loved to take his time walking, looking around himself. He felt a sense of freedom for that. But unfortunately that day he wouldn't be able to do so as it was getting very late. 

When he arrived at the shop, he quickly changed into his works clothes and turned the sign from 'Close' to 'Open'.  
  


He was positive not many people would show up that early, Jean also wasn't coming, that made him a bit disappointed, but he would never tell him. 

When he made sure no one was coming to the shop yet, Eren decided to make some tea for himself, it was too cold outside which means it was the perfect weather to just go for it.

That made him remember, he had to answer Levi.

**Me  
** _I'm having tea right now! :)_

_*picture*_

He put his phone down to sip some of his warm drink. The thought of Levi making an effort to get to know him made Eren happy.

When Eren finished his tea, customers started arriving, he would check his phone from time to time but there was no answer from Levi, yet.

He didn't know if Levi had anything to do, (work maybe?) or if he simply didn't want to answer him anymore.

Could the picture have been something to put him off? He wondered if Levi was weirded out to see the notification of a picture from him. It was the first time for Eren to message someone he has never met in person before. He had no idea what to expect. 

How this person was used to talk to others, what his boundaries were. Eren found himself thinking a lot of what could have put Levi off or not. 

  
  


That day none of his friends could visit, too busy with their lives or university. He was bored. It really didn't help that his co-workers weren't so fun to hang out with.

His day started too nicely for it to keep going like that, of course.

Eren sighed as he went to the restroom for his break. Only other 4 hours left of work, and he could have gone home, a walk in the park would be nice. 

It would only happen if Mikasa had been home by the time his shift was over. He didn't want his mother to be left alone for so long.

The day was slow, too slow. But it ended, finally.

Eren gathered all of his things and left as soon as possible. Mikasa sent him a message to let him know she was already home, he sent one back to inform he was going to be late. The walk was happening then, Eren was happy.

Walking to the park was something he usually loved to do. There were times when Eren liked to simply sit on a bench and watch his surrounding, he loved to admire people's genuine interactions with each others, there were no cameras, no pretending. That made him both sad and happy at the same time. Sometimes there were couples doing normal things like holding hands, just looking at each other in the eyes or saying nothing at all but looking so comfortable with one another.

It was no secret Eren wished to have something like that, he really did. He never understood what love was thought. He dated a couple of times but no one made him feel remotely close to the way he felt by watching people being in love. 'Which says a lot', Eren thought once.

With the corner of his eyes Eren spotted a guy wearing a big scarf around his neck. The guy was gorgeous. He found himself looking intensely at the stranger.

He noticed how he was shivering and tried to warm himself with a cup of something - probably very hot - in his hands. Eren has never had trouble dealing with winter's cold, his body temperature was really warm, and he was thankful for that.

Eren was lost in his thoughts while looking at the stranger, their eyes met when he turned around to leave the park. After quickly recovering from his day dreaming,he looked away. His eyes were gray, odd. He didn't recall ever seeing anyone with eyes like that. He hoped the stranger didn't mind much about Eren looking at him.

He then fully turned around to check if the guy was still there, much to his disappointment Eren watched as he left the park to enter a familiar looking building.

That's when Eren noticed, it was his old university. He didn't realize he walked all the way there. Going to the park next to his University was something Eren was really fond of. He would always manage to find some times for it between one class and the other. That's where all of his friends went when looking for him. 

'Is he a student, then?' Eren swore he has never seen him before. How many things he must have missed since he stopped going.

Sadness took control over his emotions, thinking about university made him sad. He always tried not to think about it, his mother was already feeling miserable for having Eren giving up on it to help her out.

''You're my kid, you shouldn't sacrifice yourself for me. I should be the one to do that. I'm so sorry Eren.'' That's what she would always say. Between her and Mikasa, Eren didn't know how he still hasn't had a break down over it all. He simply wanted to help, why couldn't they appreciate that and leave it at that?

His father, Grisha, left when his mother fell ill. It was around 4 and half year by now. They never had issues with money, Grisha was a doctor. In fact, Eren and Mikasa never had to work a single day of their life, and they were grateful for that. They managed to get through first year of university just fine. The moment his mother got ill, Grisha disappeared, at first he would send money to cover Carla's medicines and their university's fees. Then he slowly started reducing the amount, skipping to some months where they wouldn't get anything from him. To the point it completely stopped, no one has heard of him. 

Eren didn't have the time to hate his father, he didn't have the time to feel anything. He quit university as soon as he was aware of what was happening. They opened the Coffee Shop that his mother closed when she fell ill. There was no need to keep working on that if they could live off his father's money at the time.

Mikasa would always be complaining, saying it wasn't fair for him to give up on his future like that, she could have helped out, found another job, and they could have done everything together. 

Eren knew Mikasa was better than him with her studies. She had a bright future ahead, just like Armin. He didn't want her to waste her potential to fall behind courses and classes just to allow Eren to attend too. 

''I will wait till mom gets better'' Eren would say. '' It's not like I have a deadline. I can graduate whenever I want. I will. I promise.'' 

Mikasa would start working even harder on her studies, she wanted to be the first to all of her classes, so that she could find a good job that would allow her to make money and support both their mother and Eren, like he was trying to do now. 

They were both kindly forced by their father to study medicine, Eren didn't really like it, he would switch to biology when his father left. 'What you don't know won't hurt you.' he would say. 

Snapping out of his thoughts, Eren got up ready to leave the park. He didn't want to cross path with anyone he knew, that included his friend Armin. He suddenly wasn't in the mood to do anything.

It was then time to go home to his routine : mom, kitchen, cleaning, room.

Between this and that Mikasa talked to him about what happened in university that day. Apparently Jean fell face to the floor as he was too focused flirting with Marco to realize where he was going. Eren laughed at the thought and sadness took over once again, today he missed his old life dearly. He thought Mikasa noticed the shift in his mood but thankfully nothing was said about that. She may have started to take pity in him for once, without having to make him feel bad for his choices. Even though he knew she had good intentions. 

He said his goodnight to Mikasa and got into bed, the next day would have been splendid, Eren thought. It was his day off. He was very much looking forward to it.

Which meant, he could stay up all night watching stupid videos that would make him incredibly happy.

Eren's favorite ones involved dogs.

His binge watching was interrupted by Armin's message.

**Armin**

_Mr.Smith is amazing! He really gets my visions Eren!!! We spent hours working on my thesis!!!_

**Me**  
_I'm glad to hear that Armin!_

  
  


**Armin  
** _I was thinking of bringing Mr. Smith to your coffee shop tomorrow, would you be okay with that?_

**Me  
** _I mean, I don't mind. More clients I suppose. I don't work tomorrow though, so I unfortunately won't be able to see this amazing Mr. Smith._

**Armin  
** _Oh that's too bad! :(_

_Maybe if he likes the place I could suggest we have more sessions there. I would love for you to meet him! He has an assistance too, very quiet, he's almost never there with him. Mr. Smith says he prefers to work 'solo'._

**Me  
** _I bet he just wanted an excuse to run away from you two._

**Armin  
** _Eren!!! That's not nice for you to say!_

**Me  
**_Oops_.

Eren made sure Armin had nothing else to add before he went back to YouTube. Hours went by, and he started to feel pretty tired, his eyes were getting heavy and the phone fell on his face.

He grunted in pain and massaged his nose, that hurt.

Eren noticed he accidentally opened the messages' app. It was on Levi's chat to be precise. There was a new message from him. He probably received it as his phone it his face and clicked on it with his nose. Well. Okay.

Before checking what Levi wrote, he looked at the hour: 2AM.

This guy really took more that much to answer, wow.

**Levi  
**_I_ _had some too today. It was fucking freezing outside._

**Me  
** _Same here, I didn't mind the cold much, thought._

**Levi**  
_So, its usual for you to stay till late._

**Me  
** _Yeah kind of. When I work I usually go back home late, I do this and that and it's suddenly too late to do anything else._

_I'm still sorry about the other day, I must have disturbed you._

**Levi  
** _I understand._

_You apologized already, I get it._

**Me  
** _What are you doing up at this hour, Levi?_

**Levi  
** _I have insomnia. I can't sleep._

**Me  
** _Oh, I'm so sorry._

**Levi  
** _Stop saying sorry._

**Me  
** _Sorry._

_I mean, okay, yeah._

A thought went through Eren's mind, If Levi had insomnia it means he was actually up the day he sent him that message. Jean had made him feel bad for it, he needed to be sure he didn't disturb him, now that Levi was actually taking his time to answer.

**Me  
** _When I sent you the message at 3am the other day, were you awake?_

**Levi  
** _I actually managed to fall asleep for a bit that day._

**Me  
** _Oh._

_You see, my friend Jean said I was stupid for messaging you that late, that I must have woken you up. I'm so sorry._

**Levi  
** _You already apologized about that too._

**Me  
** _But I really am. I woke you up, didn't I?_

**Levi  
**_Yes_.

**Me  
** _I'm sorry._

**Levi  
** _Don't say sorry._

_Oh for fuck sake, kid._

**Me  
** _I'm not a kid! I'm 22 years old, and you're 30. We're only 8 years apart. But I really am sorry._

**Levi  
** _I was angry when you woke me up, but I don't care anymore. Okay?_

**Me  
** _Okay._

_So, you like tea, uh?_

**Levi  
** _We established that already, yes._

**Me  
** _I work at a coffee shop you know! You should drop by, It would be on me._

**Levi  
** _You're really suggesting that I, a stranger, should come to your shop? You're too naive._

**Me  
** _I already told you that I don't think you would mean any arm._

**Levi  
** _You're weird._

**Me  
** _I suppose._

_Can I ask you something?_

**Levi  
** _I won't promise you'll get an answer._

**Me**  
_What do you do when you can't sleep?_

**Levi  
** _I read, watch stuff, drink tea._

**Me  
** _Really?? I was just watching some dog funny moments' compilation on YouTube! They're so cute._

**Levi  
** _When I said watch I meant tv shows, movies. Not those stuff._

_Also, I'm a cat person._

**Me  
** _Why doesn't this surprise me?_

**Levi  
** _Uh?_

**Me  
** _You can usually tell when someone is a cat person or a dog person. You strike me as the cat person._

**Levi  
**_Okay_.

**Me  
** _So, what series do you watch at the moment?_

**Levi  
** _Shameless US. 10 seasons, it's going to take a while before I finish it._

**Me  
** _Never heard of that, that good?_

**Levi  
** _Kind of._

**Me  
** _I have a day off work tomorrow, I'll watch it then._

_Would you mind if I shared my thoughts about it with you?_

**Levi  
** _Depends on if you spam me or not._

**Me  
** _I won't, I promise!_

_I'll go to sleep now. Goodnight Levi._

Content of how much Eren managed to talk to Levi, he shut his phone off and went to sleep.

He went through the conversation he has had with him while he tried to fall asleep.

Eren still didn't know why he was so looking forwards talking to him, he just did, and he was happy. He couldn't wait to know more about him. Eren was happy he had a new excuse to contact him the next day, he hoped that the tv show would have been good enough for him to actually enjoy it.

Eren's eyes snapped open when he realized.

He wished goodnight to someone with insomnia, how fucking stupid of him.

He quickly grabbed and unlocked his phone, Levi hasn't answered of course.

Eren decided it was best to just apologize somehow.

**Me  
** _I'm so sorry for that I'm really stupid._

**Levi  
** _Uh?_

**Me  
** _I wished you goodnight, It's like eating chocolate in front of someone who's dieting._

**Levi  
** _You worry too much, I didn't mind. Go back to sleep._

**Me  
** _Alright.._

**Levi  
** _Goodnight._

**Me  
** _! Goodnight!!! :D_

With that Eren fell asleep with a smile on his face.

. 

Levi slept a total amount of 3 hours that night. Amazing, such record.

The other night's conversation with Eren left him feel strange. He enjoyed talking to him and was actually looking forward to get a new message, he wouldn't really admit that out loud though.

Looking at the clock made Levi notice, it was 9 am. He should start getting ready to work, Erwin had to work with that enthusiastic kid about the thesis, and he really wasn't looking forward to it. Both of them weren't a good combination for him.

Levi worked as Erwin's assistant.

Erwin really didn't need to work as a professor to Trots University. He was actually one of the richest man in the country, Levi never really found out why where all those moneys came from, he just didn't question it. Maybe he was uninterested about it, maybe he was a little too scared to find out. Maybe it was both.

Levi would never understand why he went for that job but Erwin would keep telling him that he enjoyed it so much. People like that Arlert kid were what made his job worth it, he said. Levi thought that it would only make him want to quit.

When Levi was a teenager, just some months after he lost his two close friends, Erwin found him on the street, sleeping in the corner of a random shop. He would never know what made the man stop and talk to him, but he will never be not grateful for that day. Erwin took him in his house, he would say that he was too young to end up like that, he made his mission to help Levi stand on his own. He lived with Erwin for years. He paid for his studies, Erwin paid for anything really. When Levi graduated, Erwin helped him out getting a job at the same uni he was working at. That's how he came to be his assistants.

During Levi's University's years he met Hange. If it were for him he would have never talked to them again, but apparently Erwin has eyes and ears everywhere. As soon as he noticed someone was kind enough to put up with his terrible personality, he would do anything to keep them close to him. That's how they became a trio.

Levi owned everything to Erwin, he knew that. But working for Arlert's thesis was really testing his loyalty to the man, A walking headache, that's what the kid was.

This is also why Levi was delighted to receive a message from Erwin saying he cancelled his plans for the day. Amazing.

Apparently they were meeting at an Arlert's friend's shop, and he wouldn't need Levi's help.

Levi knew, he knew that Erwin didn't want him to feel pressured to be around that many people at once, he was thankful once again for Erwin's kindness.

Knowing he had the day off, Levi tried to sleep a bit more, of course that would be quite a hopeful thought, but he still tried.

Much to his disappointment he fell asleep for a total amount of 10 minutes.

He gave up. Got up from his bed and made his first tea of the day.

He remembered the conversation that happened with Eren the other night, wondered if the guy started the series or not. He sipped on his tea and turned the computer on.

Time to keep watching it himself.

Three hours and 3 episodes later, Levi needed a break from his computer. Going towards the kitchen to start making lunch only to realize he had nothing left at home.

Levi grunted as he closed his fridge. It was time to do some grocery shopping.

Fan fucking tastic. He thought. Just what he wanted to do.

He slowly and painfully took a shower and put some fresh clothes on to get out. He made sure to dress warmly as he was freezing his ball off the other day. Levi wouldn't make the same mistake again.

  
  


Going grocery shopping was never something he liked to do, too many people, too messy.

That day was just like the others, he quickly grabbed everything that he needed, taking a little more time at the tea shop section. He took his tea seriously, he always wanted to try new flavors, but he had to make sure they were going to be good.

After deciding which one to try, Levi went to get his favorite one, it was a simple earl gray. Yes. Levi was boring like that. Sue him.

He regretted picking the package up the moment he felt a hand on his.

His eyes widened as the shock of the moment took over him, and he snatched his hand out of the other's person.

He heard a sound coming from them, Levi had to look up to meet the other's eyes.

'Fucking giant.' Was what quietly came out of his mouth the moment he collected himself from the initial shook.

The guy was watching him with his giant green eyes, he looked like a deer to Levi.

Before he could do or say anything else, the guy spoke.

''I'm so sorry Sir. Are you okay?'' The guy's voice was so warm, he thought he would melt any time. Levi avoided his gaze as he answered ''Don't apologize. It's fine.''

''Here, take it. I'm sorry.'' The guy kneeled down to pick the tea up. It apparently fell on the floor. Levi hadn't noticed when it happened. While taking the package from his hands, he made sure not to touch him. ''Thank you.'' Before the guy could say anything else, he ran away.

He didn't really run per se, he just... walked really fast to the check out section.

Levi was sure he heard the guy trying to say something else. He heard an ''I'm…''. It might have been him apologizing again, maybe him trying to introduce himself. He would never know.

  
  


After he arrived home, Levi started placing everything he bought in the fridge. 

He took the tea out of the bag and stared at it, thinking of what happened just half an hour ago. Remembering their encounter made Levi feel warmness spread through the hand the stranger touched. He didn't fully registered it at first, but the guy's hand was really warm, just like his voice, and his eyes. He wondered what it would feel like to be held by him when he felt cold, which meant, always. 

The buzz on his pocket made Levi snap out of it. 'What the fuck was I even thinking about?' He knew he felt alone, but reaching out to the point he fantasized about a random stranger holding him? That was too much. He blamed it on all the romantic movies he has watched. 

He picked up the phone from his pocket, it was an Unknown number. He furrowed his eyebrows when he realise, that was Eren. 

Levi still hadn't saved the number to his phone, he had no idea they would have started talking. 

He put down the tea, cleaned the kitchen, made some tea and went to his room.

He fell on the bed and covered himself in blankets, it was too cold to do anything, really. 

Unlocking his phone, Levi saved Eren's number as first thing, he would then answer Hange message in the group chat, they sent a picture of a ice cube. Apparently it was their water, it froze because they forgot it overnight close to the window. 

**the gays**

**Levi** : _That's scary._

 **Hange** : _ITS FASCINATING LEVI._

 **Levi:** _Lets see how fascinating it will be once your piss will freez too._

 **Hange:** _OMG. that would be so cool what are you even talking about???_

Of course they would say that. What did he expect. 

He switched to Eren's chat, hopefully he wouldn't give him a headache. 

**Eren  
** _Okay, this show is fucking amazing!!_

**Me  
** _You're watching it then?_

**Eren  
** _Yes!! I started this morning, I'm at episode 10._

'Episode 10?' Levi was confused, each episode is about one hour long. It was 5pm, it couldn't be possible. 

**Me  
** _How long have you been watching that?_

**Eren  
** _I woke up around 6am. I had few breaks tho, don't worry!_

**Me  
** _I'm not._

**Eren  
** _I'm going to finish S1 and I'll be back!!_

**Me** **_  
_ ** _Enjoy_

  
  
  


Eren was in tears. 'This is so fucking sad' he thought. 

Yes, Eren was crying over a tv show. Yes, he binge watched it. 

  
  
  


When he decided to start watching Shameless he had no idea he would be sho hooked, there were many things that hit home for Eren. A missing father figure, having to be the one to take care of everything, pretending everything would be alright. Not having a education to help his sister have a better future. What caught Eren's attention the most, thought, was the red hair guy of the family, he came out as gay to his sister and started a relationship with one of the neighborhood kids. 

Eren wasn't sure of why he was this interested in his storyline, no, if he were to be honest, he knew. He knew there were many doubts in his heart about what he liked or not, but he was too afraid to actually put it into words, to admit it to himself. He knew his mother and Mikasa would accept him for that, he was lucky to have them in his life, they wouldn't judge him. What scared him was Grisha's reaction. 

You must think, what's the problem with Grisha? He's not around and never will be, who cares what Eren is and isn't? Well, that's what Eren would like to know too. 

His father has always been against anything close to being 'different' from what's normally socially accepting. They would often argue about it, watch movies together or news about it on tv. Eren used to argue back, which lead to huge fights, mostly stopped by his mother getting in the middle of it while Mikasa would just sit and watch the fight from afar. He never blamed Mikasa for not taking parts of the fights, he knew it was useless to argue with Grisha, but Eren couldn't help it. He didn't like injustices. 

What made Eren snap, the thing that made Eren fear to be that way, happened just some weeks before Grisha disappeared from his life. 

He remembered that as if it happened yesterday. Eren went to his room to pick some clothes, he would have gone to Jean's house to spend the night, play games and just enjoy each other's company. Eren loved those moments, but that particular night was forever scarred in his mind.

Eren would walk towards the door, saying goodbye to his family and enjoy the night with Jean. No discussion, no fights, nothing like that should have happened. He would have gone to Jean's house and they would have had fun. 

Instead, his prick of a father decided it was the right time to start talking shit about Jean.

Jean was openly gay, everyone knew that, everyone was okay with that, everyone expect for damn Grisha. 

That night Eren luck wasn't on his side, Grisha was home, watching over as Eren's was about to leave the room. 

''Where are you going?'' He said getting up from the sofa. Grisha's stare was intense and dark, Eren knew what was about to happen.

''I'm going to stay at a friend's tonight, I already told mom. I'll see you tomorrow.'' Eren carefully chose his words, he didn't want anything to happen, he really tried his best not to. Unfortunately, that wasn't going to be Grisha's plan. 

Instead, Grisha took a step forward towards Eren, he grabbed him by the wrist and stopped from getting to the door. 

''I know you're going to that thing's house, you're not leaving, do you hear me?'' Grisha was starting to get angry and his grip on Eren's wrist tighten up as he spoke. 

Eren was scared, he has always been scared of Grisha, but he was insulting Jean. He called his friend thing just because he was gay, that made Eren see red. He wouldn't allow anyone to talk bad about his friends. 

He freed himself from Grisha's grip, took a step back and started shouting back to him ''Don't you dare call my friend like that. He's a human being, just because...just because he-'' Eren couldn't finish his sentence, what happened shooked him too much to be able to speak. Grisha's slapped Eren's on the face so hard that Mikasa and Carla had to run from the kitchen to see what was going on. They gasped at the sight in front of them.

There was Grisha's hand still in the air as Eren shocked expression changed from hurt, he slowly closed his eyes and breathed deeply as he tried not to cry in front of him, he didn't want Grisha to win, he didn't want him to see Eren weak or affected by anything he has done or said. 

''Grisha, please...'' Was what Carla could only manage to say, she tried to take a step closer but Mikasa stopped her. They knew it was useless trying to be in the middle of it all. Considering Grisha's state at the moment, he would have probably hurt her too, if she made him even more nervous than how he was already feeling. 

''I don't want to hear anything like that coming from your mouth every again. Being deviated like that stupid friend of yours is inhuman, I want no child of mine to be like that. I won't allow that. You take another step towards the door and you're done with me.'' 

With the corner of his eyes, Eren could see his mother tighten the grip on Mikasa's hand that was resting on her shoulder, after she stopped her from meddling in the fight.

Eren was defeated, he felt drained, he didn't know if he wanted to cry, punch Grisha in the face or just leave without saying a word anymore. He didn't want his mother to be hurt by them fighting, he knew she didn't like that and suffered when things like that happened. Eren too, wished to have a normal family, Eren wished that they wouldn't have to fear Grisha, when he would snap and how. 

But Eren didn't want him to win, he had to look stronger. So he took that step back, looking at Grisha in the face as a way to challenge him. Grisha's eyes widen at the action, Eren knew what he was thinking but he didn't care anymore. 

Eren went to the door, he was scared to turn around, not being able to look at Grisha, being sure he wouldn't do anything stupid or try to attack Eren again. He couldn't show fear. He walked toward the door, the moment he touched the door handle, he turned around, looking towards his mother and sister to give a reassuring smile. 

Then he turned towards Grisha and said ''Fuck you.'' 

Unfortunately for Eren, before he could completely shut the door behind him, he heard Grisha said those words that would still haunt him from time to time. 

''You're disgusting.'' 

  
  
  


Saying Eren felt like someone stabbed him in the heart wouldn't even be compared to what he felt that moment. Sure, Grisha wasn't his favourite person in the whole word, but still, hearing that from his father, surely made its impact. If what Grisha wanted was Eren to feel miserable, it worked. 

  
  
  


He would never let him know that, without looking back he walked towards Jean's house. Trost wasn't that big so thankfully he was glad of having some time for himself, to collect his thoughts before meeting Jean. He didn't want Grisha to ruin that night, but he surely was close to it.

  
  
  


When Eren arrived at Jean's house, he hoped he would have been able to never touch that topic with him, unfortunately he completely forgot about the slap Grisha gave him not even half an hour prior to their meeting. Eren wouldn't know, but that slap left a very visible red mark on his face. Jean was obviously worried about him, he started asking questions over questions, he wasn't well aware of how horrendous Grisha was as a person, but he well knew about him not being a fan of Jean of what Jean was for all that matter. 

Unfortunately for Eren, Jean wasn't stupid. He wouldn't let the matter go. He took care of Eren's red cheek, while preparing him something warm to make him feel comfortable.

That night Eren cried, cried and cried. He didn't remember crying that much in a long time. Jean held him during the whole discussion. Eren told him about Grisha being disrespectful towards him, Eren told him about trying to defend him and how Grisha told him he was disgusting. That made Jean cringe, he couldn't believe those words really left his mouth.

''How fucking horrible of a person has he to be to say things like that? Fuck him, really.'' Said Jean while holding him. They never were this affectionate towards each others, their relationship was mostly based on joking around, bros being bros but making it sure that they knew they were there for each others. These moments were rare for Eren, he would be lie if he were to say he disliked being this open with Jean, thought he would have prefered it the reason why it happened would have been for something better, rather than that.

''I feel horrible, I should have been the one to comfort you, he was talking shit about you and here I am crying in your arms.'' Eren said while wiping his tears, he wanted to compose himself, the night shouldn't have gone like that. 

Jean scoffed at Eren's statement and said ''Dude, that shit isn't my father, I don't give a fuck of what he thinks of me. He hurt you, that's all that matter.'' 

Jean moved his hand to Eren's cheek, it wasn't as red as it was when Eren first arrived at his house some hours ago, but it was still there and it made Jean fuming. 

  
  
  


The night, as Eren feared, went like that : Jean trying to make Eren feel safe, distracting him and looking at him with the corner of his eyes with concern. He knew Jean had all the best intentions, he appreciated that. Still, that made Eren feel uneasy. He knew Jean wanted to say something and couldn't bring himself to do so. 

Eren decided to speak and end the pain.

''What is it?'' He said turning around, they were watching tv, although none of them was really paying attention to what was going on there. 

''What?'' Jean made a shocked face. What an amazing actor he would be, Eren thought. 

''You know what. Why are you looking at me like that? Say what you want to say and let's get over it.'' 

Eren was growing impatient and Jean didn't want to have to deal with an even more unstable Eren. 

Before speaking, Jean took some distance between each other, better safe than sorry. 

He was very careful in choosing his words, letting them out of his mouth very slowly as he tried to make Eren understand his point and be sure he wouldn't be offended by it. 

''You know, I've been thinking this for a while now. Are you sure you're straight, Eren?'' 

Jean knew it was going to be painful to talk about it that same night, after what happened he didn't really want Eren to think more about it. Still, he thought that they wouldn't have had another chance to do so. He had his suspects long time ago, Eren was never really into the girls he dated, Jean noticed how Eren looked a certain guys at school. What happened that night with Grisha made him wonder if he was, in a way, hiding his true self due to him. It would make sense, Jean wanted only the best for Eren. 

Even thought Jean was very well ready to any type of reaction from Eren, he didn't expect him to slowly turn around towards him and begin to cry even harder than before.

It wasn't a loud cry, Eren was silent, tears were streaming down his face, there was no sight of them stopping at all. Jean felt guilty, he didn't want Eren to cry again. He should have stayed silent instead. 

''Eren... come here.'' He said as he opened his arms to welcome Eren in his embrace. 

As if Jean knew what Eren really needed, he moved without protest towards Jean and let himself being hugged even tighter than before. That night wasn't going to be peaceful at all. 

''It's okay, Eren, its okay.'' Jean would whisper every once in awhile, as he stroked Eren's hair and culled him. That seemed to work as Eren gradually stopped crying and started to breathe normally. When he felt stable to talk, Eren moved away from Jean, feeling embarrassed from showing his weakness once again. 

''I...I don't know, Jean. I really don't know. I'm scared.'' Eren then said, after wiping the tears off his face, looking anywhere that wasn't Jean. 

''Your father shouldn't let you stop from being who you are, you deserve that. You know?'' 

Eren still wouldn't look at Jean in the eyes as he said ''I know that. I know, I really do. Its just, its exhausting, you know? What if I fall in love with a guy and then? Do I bring him home to my family, then how will Grisha react? Could we live a normal life? What would he think? Would he want to get through the hate Grisha would put him through just for my sake? And-'' 

Eren was vomiting all of his fears and thoughts, the things that him question if being out would have been worth it for him and for the sake of whoever would have loved him. 

Jean felt sadness for his best friend, he was lucky enough to have a supportive family, he couldn't even imagine how it must feel this scared, he imagined himself having to put Marco through anything like that. But once again, he stopped Eren from rambling before he would have another breakdown. He reached out to him, one hand on his shoulder making him look up at Jean's in the eyes after what seemed an eternity. ''Hey, this isn't something you should think about right now. Try to figure yourself out, you deserve to be happy and whoever will love you enough, will fight for you and your love.'' 

Eren blinked rapidly, probably trying to stop tears from falling again. ''...Please, let's not talk about this anymore. Don't tell anyone about what I said. I'm not ready.'' 

'Fuck' was all Jean could think about, he really didn't want to let this thing go. He knew that this conversation wouldn't be touched ever again. But Jean knew he couldn't force him to talk about it. So he sighed and nodded to reassure Eren the topic wouldn't be touched anymore. Eren let a sigh of relief out of him, something he didn't know he was holding. Before he could say anything else, he felt Jean's shifting and moving towards him, he didn't even register as Jean hugged him tight. ''I'll be here when you're ready, I love you.'' He said while letting go of Eren, he was visibly embarrassed, but very, very grateful for having Jean in his life.

After the hug, everything went back to normal. They enjoyed their night together and had fun, as always. The only thing that changed was that Eren stayed more and more at Jeans place. He actually never came back home since the fight with Grisha, he would always call his mother and message Mikasa about wanting to stay ''just one more day''. Those turned into weeks and then a full month. His mother was sad and worried, but she knew that Eren wanted to avoid Grisha, still not ready to face him. 

When Eren finally came back home, Grisha was gone. Eren didn't care, but simultaneously his mother fell ill. At first Grisha would send money for the medical bills, then little by little i sent less and less to stop at some point forcing Eren to quit University and work. 

He hated Grisha for not coming back home and checking on her, for not helping out his ill wife, for not being around when it was needed the most. He just hated him.

  
  
  


The sound of a new message snapped Eren out of his thoughts, he looked around noticing that he space out for about 30 minutes. He felt emotional due to what that show made him remember. He checked his phone, trying to distract himself and found a new message from Jean spamming him with stupid memes found only.

Jean, right. Eren thought. He was the one that has always been there for him during those hard times. He had no idea what made him do that but he sent Jean's a message straight away. 

  
  
  


**Me  
** _Bro, I love you._

  
  
  


A replay came instantly, Eren laughed at it. Of course Jean would have been surprised

**Jean  
** _Bro, what the fuck_

_I love you too_

_But what the fuck?_

_Marco said I need to specify_

_''I love you as a friend''_

_But I thought it was pretty clear._

_Anyways_

_What the fuck?_

  
  
  


**Me  
** _I've been emotional, I'm fine, before you ask or get worried. I just wanted to let you know, and tell Marco not to worry. I have better taste._

  
  
  


**Jean  
** _Alright, I'll see you tomorrow at the shop. I love you, in a bro way. Yo._

_< 3 _

  
  
  


Eren noticed how Jean didn't mock him further, he must have really felt worried for him to the point he didn't dare to joke around, damn if Jean was a nice friend. He was definitely lucky to have him in his life.

  
  
  
  


Sipping on his fourth tea , Levi enjoyed his free time by just relaxing on the sofa. His friends were strangely silent at the moment, well, Erwin had a meeting with the Arlet guy, so he understood why he wouldn’t be active. He wondered how come Hange hasn't said anything yet. 

Worried Hange might have really been trying to freeze their piss, he contacted them.

  
  
  


**the gays**

**Levi** : _You aren't really trying to freeze your piss, right?_

 **Hange** : _well now that you asked yes i am indeed!! wanna see?_

 **Levi** : _NO_

 **Erwin** : _NO._

 **Levi** : _Oh? Erwin, I thought you were in a meeting._

 **Hange** : _RUDE BOTH OF YOU_

 **Erwin** : _I still am, tho I saw the notification and really couldn't leave it at that._

 **Hange** : _guys i feel this is very unfair of you both of you sucks_

 **Levi** : _I regret even asking, I'm sorry Erwin._

 **Erwin** : _Its okay, you didn't know._

 **Hange** : _HEYYYYYYYYYYY_

  
  
  


How could Hange be this full of life, Levi would never understand. 

Before he could put his phone away, he got a new message, this time from Eren. 

'Has he finished S1?' Levi thought.

  
  


**Eren  
** _What would you do if you were Mickey?_

  
  
  


What the fuck?? Was Levi's reaction. Mickey, what? Mickey who? This kid was seriously going to compete with Hange if he kept on sending him those type of messages.

  
  
  


**Me  
** _Mickey Mouse? I like Donald Duck more._

  
  
  


**Eren  
** _What???? No I meant the guy from Shameless, why would I ask about Mickey Mouse, what the hell??_

_Also, why am I not surprised, AGAIN?_

  
  
  


**Me  
** _Excuse me?_

  
  
  


**Eren  
** _He's grumpy, Donald Duck I mean. Well, Mickey too if that's fair (and I'm not talking about the mouse)_

**Me  
** _I would take a shower if I were Mickey, probably._

**Eren  
** _i didn't mean in that way._

  
  
  


Levi was clearly not understanding Eren's question, but he had way too much fun in making him go insane like that instead of asking for clarifications.

  
  
  


**Me  
** _You didn't?_

**Eren  
** _No. Of course not._

  
  
  


He had no idea what to say anymore, questioning whatever he should write something back or leave it at that. How come he had started craving for attentions and willing to massage people? Levi didn't even want to question himself that much. 

Thankfully he didn't even have to worry about deciding if asking him something or not, because he saw as Eren was typing, and deleting. Then typing again...and deleting. 

''What the hell...'' He stated out loud, what is going on with this kid? 

As he waited and waited for Eren to finally finish writing the message and send it, Levi got up to clean the house, get a new cup of tea and come back to the sofa , unlock his phone and still see that Eren was typing. 

Levi was debating if he should have just written something to let Eren know he was taking way too much time to type a simple message, when apparently Eren hit sent, because Levi was now facing a very, very long message. 

Reading it made Levi surprised. He furrowed his eyebrows looking at the screen. 

  
  


**Eren  
** _I watched S1 and I was intrigued by the relationships between Ian and Mickey. So I 'cheated' and searched for their scenes on YouTube, I was too curious forgive me.  
_ _I was fascinated by how Mickey was too scared to come out but still had a relationships with Ian. They suffered greatly but in the end he came out for him, facing his fear of having to deal with his father. I couldn't stop picturing myself in that situation, what could have I done if i were in his place? Do you remember in S3 when the father finds out about them and beats him like that? And what happened after? I was honestly shocked and I could totally understand why mickey wouldn't want to deal with ian anymore. But in S4 he was totally into being with ian and the fear of leaving him was too strong, to the point mickey overcomes his fear to face his father? Then I saw S5 and I thought, wow he really changed? He's more open about being himself and he's taking care of his boyfriend like that. His situation was completely fucked up and I can't stop thinking. 'How would I have reacted if I were him?'._

_And I was wondering, what would you think of it? What would have you done if you were Mickey?_

Levi still couldn’t understand the meaning behind the message. Was there something more to it, or was Eren trying to find a way to talk to Levi more? 

Whatever it was, Levi caught himself typing a replay. 

  
  


**Me  
** _Are you asking me what I would do if I were a gay guy struggling with internalised homophobia living with an abusive father?_

The replay came instantly

**Eren  
**_Yes_.

Levi had no idea what made him open up, he really wasn’t the type to talk about himself. Especially after knowing the person for so little. There was something about Eren, that made it easier for him to talk. It might have been the fact they’re completely strangers, maybe? It made Levi think he wasn’t talking to a real person, someone that knew who he was and how he looked like. Hopefully he wouldn’t regret that later. 

**Me  
** _Well, I surely didn’t have someone to fight for, but I didn’t give a shit about my father and left as soon as the abuse started. Does that answer your question?_

**Eren  
** _Wait_

_What?_

_I mean sorry!!_

_I’m just surprised_

_Am I getting it right?_

_I don’t want to assume things_

**Me  
** _First of all, please send one message at the time. My phone is exploding, thank you._

_Yes, I’m gay, if that’s what you were wondering. I never had to deal with internalised homophobia as I’ve never gave a damn about what the old fart thought of me or anything in general. I left home when I was young thought. Does this answer all of your questions?_

_Why did you ask me?_

  
  


As soon as Levi hit send, he started regretting everything he has said. Why was it easy talking to this guy, what made himself open up this much? He sure hoped he wouldn’t have taken a life time to answer this text, again, as Levi was growing impatient for writing so many personal things at once. Wanting to know his reaction.

  
  


**Eren  
** _I wasn’t expecting you to answer me like that, I want you to know I’m grateful for trusting me with it. Thank you very much, Levi._

_Since you’ve been honest with me, I want to do the same. I hope it won’t make you feel uncomfortable._

**Me  
** _It’s okay, go for it._

**Eren  
** _I think I'm gay too. I’ve dated girls before and I didn’t like it one bit, so we can cross ‘’bisexual’’ off the list. I have a friend, Jean, that’s in a relationship with a guy for God knows how long. I’ve always been jealous of what they have and I couldn’t understand why I could never fall in love like that with a girl._

_Long story short, I found out I was attracted to guys something like 6 years ago, I don’t really remember. Grisha, my father, is an incredible asshole and we’ve fought multiple times about these type of things. He always made fun of Jean to the point I’ve had to stop letting him come visit or let Grisha know I was still friend with him. I kind of accepted what I had going on but I was scared, I am scared of it. I think he fucked me up, being this hateful, making me fear anything. One day I left to see Jean and he was there, he shouted at me and called me disgusting. I think that’s where I started getting triggered by the thought of it._

_I just, really wish I wasn’t like that? I want to openly love someone, I want to feel free and I want to brag about my boyfriend with my family without being scared both for me and for whoever I am going to end up with._

_When I watched the show I felt really connected with Mickey and I want to be like that, too._

Reading the message, Levi sighed. He knew it would have been about something like that, those type of situations are never easy to deal with. He was lucky enough that he didn’t care about what his father thought of him, having him around or anything of the sort. It seemed like family meant a lot to the guy, and Levi couldn’t relate nor know how to help him with that. 

He still tried to give the best answer he could, even if nothing much. 

**Me  
** _This is really a big situation, uhm. I don’t know how I could help here, this is something you have to deal with yourself, but just so you know no one call tell you what to do, who to like or not. I’m free to be who I really am and I’m happy about it. There will be days where it feels like its useless and you might want to ‘’fit in’’ and be normal. Because the pain caused by being different, being who you are, could be too overwhelming. This world makes no sense Eren, our lives too. Nothing matters, as long as you’re not hurting anyone, just live as you want and think its right. There will be a day when you’ll look back at what you had to go through and think ‘’It was worth it.’’_

_You’ll find love, you’ll be happy and you will have a new family that will really love you and cherish you._

**Eren  
** _Ah, damn. Thank you so much Levi… I don’t know what to say, I think I’m too tired emotionally to know how to properly answer to this. I just, I want to do that. I want to change, I want to be able to accept myself. I know I can, I have to. I just, It’s scary._

_I like talking to you Levi, can we be friends? I know I have Jean with me, he understands me and all of that. But I feel like I can open up with you, might it be because we don’t really know anything about each others, uhm? I hope this isn’t such a weird request.. I understand you might not want to have to deal with me. I’m so sorry, maybe I’m too emotional right now._

He had no idea what made him say that, Levi might regret that later in his life but he just went for it. He thought it was right. 

**Me  
** _It’s okay, we can be friends. Talk to me about whatever, If I can help, It’s cool._

_But please, don’t spam me with stupid things, or your dog videos. Don’t make me regret that._

**Eren  
** _Thank you Levi, Thank you so much._

_I have to go now, I’ll talk to you later. My ….. friend? :D_

**Me  
** _Oh, god._

  
  
  


_Bye, Eren, talk to you later._

  
  


_Friend._

  
  


Neither of them knew, that was the beginning of something more.

**Author's Note:**

> so uhm.  
> i had this story in my folder for months, i gave up on it as you can tell and i'm sorry?  
> but i really wanted to post it, as i dont want to look at it anymore. i want you to see it as a one shot, the beginning of something and i don't know, maybe one day i'll write something more to it? them meeting up? things getting better for both?
> 
> i just got really annoyed with it and yeah. i don't know how it works, if its unfair to have it on this website you can tell me, i'll just remove it.
> 
> (i've read almost everywhere of people getting angry at unifished projects still being on this website?)
> 
> also note. i love shameless so yeah, i couldn't not talk about it, watch it or just go and watch gallavich scenes on youtube like Eren did :D
> 
> and i tried to make hange sound a bit like liam gallagher texts in his tweets lol he's funny.


End file.
